7 reviews by I Am Cunty..
Mortal Kombat
2003-06-13
From:
I Am Cunty
Comments:
Holy shit! Your really starting to piss me off, Lebo homo. I'm not going to call you for several reasons. First of all, which fucking number you gave is the right one? You're about as good with numbers as you are with words. Second, I'm going to find better use of the three seconds it would take me to beat your stupid ass to death. You're all talk you little bitch! You're just another Mortal Kombat loving dick-licker who likes to go around acting tough and talking like some badass. I know your game. I told you before that I am not interested in becoming your gay lover. I just don't swing that way. Ask your mom, I just rolled off the bitch about an hour ago. Frankly, she's a little old for me and I'm thinking about cutting her loose. She's a good lay and all, but I don't see any future in our relationship. I don't want to be your daddy. If I'm going to end up with stupid, ugly kids, they damn sure better actually be mine. You better just watch yourself in the future, little fellow. You need to start showing some respect. And as for my mother, she'd rape your worthless little ass before you could even think about doing so to her. She'd make you cry like the little girly faggot you are.
Rating:
Mortal Kombat
2003-06-07
From:
I Am Cunty
Comments:
Who the fuck do you think you are, mother-fucker? You DO NOT talk to me like that! You spelled Lebanese wrong you stupid piece of shit. I don't care if your Lebanese, Chinese, white trash, or even a fucking Martian. I'll fuck you up. I know what your little game is. You want me to call you up to find out when and where I can beat your dumb ass, but as soon as I call you're going to try to seduce me and turn me gay. You don't want to fight. You want to try to get your tiny dick in my butthole. You're a sick mother-fucker! Why don't you and your "connections" go fuck each other. How do I know this is your plan to have sex with me? Simple, you like Mortal Kombat, the gayest fucking game ever made. It's a homosexual recruiting tool. I guess it works, too. You're not going to get up my ass! I think I'll fuck your mother. I won't rape her because I won't need to. She will like it and she will be begging for more of my giant cock. I'll titty-fuck that dumb bitch and shoot my load all over her face. She'll have more orgasms in fifteen minutes with me than she has had her entire life. I'll work her g-spot until she squirts for me and then I'll lick her sweet pussy. Then I'll slap her in the face with my dick until I'm rock hard again. Then I'm going backdoor on that slut. While I'm in her surprisingly loose asshole I'm going to fuck her pussy with a baseball bat. Then I'll switch from brown hole to pink hole and give her one hell of a cream pie. Then I'm going to suck my own cum from your mom's snatch and spit it in her face. I will then leave, but your mom will be hanging from my leg, begging me to stay and fuck her more and more. Don't worry. I'll be done with her.
Rating:
Psychic World
2003-06-05
From:
I Am Cunty
Comments:
I think that there's something actually to this game being called Psychic World. Having no prior experience with ESP, I had the distinct feeling that this game really, really blew even though I had never played it. When I finally played the game I found that it actually did blow! Eerie, isn't it?
Rating:
Maze Hunter 3-D
2003-06-05
From:
I Am Cunty
Comments:
I never had the 3-D glasses, but I enjoyed watching the games flicker in front of me. I am aware that some of the 3-D games had a 2-D mode where those of us without glasses could play and not feel so left out, but that really didn't interest me. Frankly, these were not good games, they were games that depended exclusively on the gimmick of 3-D effects for their appeal. Watching the games without the glasses was a wild adventure for any young boy as yet unsullied by illicit drugs. It was disorienting and disturbing and, more often than not, would result in nausea and vomiting. Another effect was, oddly enough, unusually persistent erections. Coupled with the vomiting, that produces an image that, needless to say, even the most open-minded and understanding mother would be unfortunate to walk in on. Thankfully, that never happened and my mother, to this day, has an untarnished opinion of me (inaccurate, but untarnished). You know, I haven't had erections like that since. Thank you for that, Sega Master System. Thank you also to my parents for not buying the Master System version that had the 3-D glasses bundled with it. They saved some money and I got some manner of mind-altering experience.
Rating:
Mortal Kombat
2003-06-05
From:
I Am Cunty
Comments:
This game is still a pantload. I hope all of you little sissies who like this game actually run afoul of me in the real world one day. You'd be sorry then. Nothing in this game could prepare you for the merciless beating that you would receive at my hands. I'd smack you so hard your spine would shoot out your asshole. Doesn't sound possible? It is. Just try me, pantywaists. I'll drink your blood and eat your skin and organs! I AM A MONSTER! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!
Rating:
Mortal Kombat 2
2003-06-04
From:
I Am Cunty
Comments:
The entire Mortal Kombat series is for stupid little boys that get bullied around at school and don't have the nerve to stand up for themselves in real life. Living vicariously through a video game is no way to go through life. If this sounds like you, seek help or get a girlfriend (or boyfriend for that matter) and do something else with your life. Here is a simple test you can take if you are worried if you might be in this elite class of douche-bag: if you can name even one character in Mortal Kombat you are a moron and a complete waste of our planet's dwindling resources. I'm not saying you should kill yourself, but it is time for some introspection. Good day to all of you career masturbators.
Rating:
Bomber Raid
2003-06-04
From:
I Am Cunty
Comments:
Calling this game a piece of shit would be unfair to actual pieces of shit. Bomber Raid is the kind of game that pieces of shit would look down on if such a thing were possible. In fact, if turds were to possess some form of intellect or reasoning I have no doubt that the phrase "bomber raid" would be used as a sign of one's contempt. For example, one turd could say to another, "Hey Bob, how do you like your new job?" and the other turd would say something like, "Man, it started out okay, but my boss, Mr. Shittington, is a real bomber raid." This assumes that turds could think and talk and hold down jobs, all of which they cannot really do, but it does help illustrate how awful this game is. One more thing, as a semi-literate student of history, I have always wondered just what war this fucking game was supposed to represent. I guess this game was made with idiots and Mortal Kombat fans in mind (I realize that statement is redundant). In closing, I would like to offer my condolences to anyone who has played this game and especially those who paid money for it. Hopefully your sufferings have come to an end.
Rating: